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Uzumaki, Kaizu (DONE)

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Uzumaki, Kaizu (DONE) Empty Uzumaki, Kaizu (DONE)

Post by Kaizu Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:53 pm



-------------------------- : : :PLAYER INFORMATION: : : --------------------------

Player Name: Kaizu
Character Number:1
English Proficiency: Excellent
Faction/Clan: Uzumaki




-------------------------- : : :BINGO BOOK ENTRY: : : --------------------------

Uzumaki, Kaizu (DONE) Tenpouin+Yuuki

UZUMAKI, KAIZU

BASIC INFORMATION

Name: Uzumaki, Kaizu
Title/Alias: The Crimson Blight
Age: 20
Gender: Male

Appearance:
Kaizu is a tad on the tall side, although his build is toned none the less. He has dark red hair witch sets him apart in most crowds. That along with his green eyes make for a lasting first impression. Kaizu has somewhat pale skin, but that is not uncommon for an Uzumaki. Kaizu is usually seen wearing the normal garb of the Uzumaki clan. His trench-coat is a slate grey with a hood attached to it. On the back, it has an Uzumaki clan symbol stitched into it. Underneath he normally wears a white t-shirt, blue pants, and combat boots. This is his civilian clothes as his outfit changes when he is on a mission. His outfit for missions is a tad different, as it is simply the standard issue jounin garb with his jacket thrown over it. Another piece of clothing he never takes off is his hoop necklace. It is a memento of his family, and it bares a crucifix at the end of it.

Height: 6'1"
Weight: 180 lbs
Build: Toned
Hair Color & Style: Red hair, medium length, messy 'bed-head look'
Eye Color: Green

Personality:
Kaizu is the type of person that needs balance in his life. This is in all things, even his diet. Kaizu finds an odd need to keep a balance between work and recreational activities and an equal balance in his emotional and physical life. As such, he is a very calm and collected person most of the time. He has an optimistic, yet realistic outlook on life. Because of his need for balance, Kaizu can sometimes seem wishy-washy when he is asked to make a decision. This is because he must ‘weigh’ all of his options. He does not take anything lightly when making decisions, nor is he one to miss a detail when making a decision. However, when Kaizu makes up his mind the decision is likely to be the best win/win for all involved; benefiting the most people. Kaizu does not like to see people unhappy, for he will often go out of his way to make someone happy.

Kaizu is only happy when their is peace and harmony. When things are balanced, then there is harmony. Kaizu is often charming and people like to be around him generally speaking and the only time that he will become unhappy is when he perceives that he has been treated unfairly. This is due to the fact that Kaizu is all about justice and seeks it out when possible. Kaizu does really well to embrace some form of meditation as it allows him to find that internal balance that will allow the outer balance to manifest itself. Kaizu loves physical exercise that involves some mental component, like long distance running, or sparring.

FAMILY AND BACKGROUND INFORMATION

Known Relatives:
- Uzumaki, Yubon :: Father :: 42/Living :: Elite Jounin
- Uzumaki, Kira :: Mother :: 41/Living :: N/A
- Uzumaki, Yuki :: Sister :: 11/Living :: Genin

Clan:
History:

GENIN YEARS
Born to one of the leading Jounin of the Uzumaki clan, Kaizu had been born into a loving and caring family. Kaizu was born on October 10th. His mother and father; Yubon and Kira, loved him dearly the moment he was born. Though born in a strange day and age, Kaizu loved his family. His father spent as much time as he could with him. Yubon started training Kaizu from an early age. From the time Kaizu could walk, Yubon had been instilling ideas of honor and what it meant to be a shinobi of the Uzumaki clan. Kaizu would soon complete his beginner's training in just over a year and would progress to a Genin at the age of 8. This was a testament to his skills, but he still lacked a sense of discipline and humility; a lesson he would have to learn the hard way.

Kaizu was put into a group quickly. His skills were very valued as even among the Uzumaki clan, he was noted for his talent for Fuuinjutsu. This talent; it would seem, he would inherit from his mother. Her talent was renown far and wide for her ability to use sealing jutsu to it's fullest advantage even in the midst of battle. Kaizu's group would consist of two other members. Ria wasn't from a specific clan, but she was talented in genjutsu. Their other group mate was Muu, who had a knack for mischief, but his talent for taijutsu was undeniable. Their group leader was a Jounin by the name of Toren. Toren was best friends with Kaizu's father, Yubon. Toren looked after the group as if they were his own kids, but he looked after Kaizu the closest. Though this treatment wasn't a request from Yubon, Toren felt an obligation to Kaizu and his family.

As their missions progressed, Kaizu continued to progress in their group work and skills. Kaizu had started to become a bit of a small celebrity at this point, for he had created a few new sealing techniques that would soon become invaluable. He even developed a way for seals to be rendered invisible to the naked eye. A huge advantage in battle and for sneak attacks. He had also developed feelings for Ria, but his fear of losing her as a friend overwhelmed him. He would say nothing about his feelings to anyone. Not even his own mother knew about his thoughts. He also developed a bit of a rivalry with his group mate Muu. Kaizu was irritated by Muu's arrogance, but it was his spirit of never giving up that Kaizu valued.

CHUUNIN YEARS
Kaizu, Ria, and Muu had all become Chuunin at the same time. Kaizu was only 12 when it happened, but his older group mates were about 15. Kaizu was always the youngest of the bunch, but showed the most talent. Kaizu served on many missions at this time, most of which were solo. He did, however, do a few missions on occasion with his old group mates and Sensei Toren. Kaizu still harbored feelings for Ria, but it was at this time she had started to show interest for Muu instead. Kaizu tried to not let it bother him, but it did none the less. Instead of focusing on his feelings, he delved into his training and missions. Toren had noticed his peculiar actions. Toren told Yubon of Kaizu's weird behavior, and Kaizu's family confronted him about it.

Kaizu didn't say much to his family when they questioned him about his behavior. Kaizu had been distant, but it wasn't because he chose to be. Kaizu's behavior prompted suspicion on his family's part. They were worried about him and frustrated that Kaizu wouldn't allow them to help. Kaizu continued to sulk and delve into his missions until the day he was ambushed by some criminal shinobi while on a rescue mission. Muu had been captured, and Kaizu had been sent to rescue him, along with Rai. This would be a life changing mission for the lot of them.

They reached the borders of their lands. It was here that the criminals had fled to. Kaizu and Ria had set up an ambush for the criminals, however, they were outplayed as they did not calculate for reinforcements. Ria and Kaizu were outnumbered and had to quickly change their strategy to a 'snatch and grab' tactic. Kaizu held off the overwhelming number of shinobi, while Ria saved Muu. This plan, however, was foiled when Muu decided to help Kaizu against the multitude of opposition. As the fight raged; Kaizu, Muu, and Ria tried to head back  for reinforcements of their own, but the enemy kept on getting in their way. The entire group knew that at this rate, they would all die. Muu knew that Kaizu and Ria would not let him sacrifice himself. Muu tricked his own group mates and stayed behind to deal with the enemies. Kaizu and Ria made it back expecting Muu to have arrived already, but were horrified to learn the truth. After that day, Ria and Kaizu had never been the same. Ria was depressed and took the loss harder than most would. A few weeks later, she took her own life out of despair.

JOUNIN YEARS
At the age of 16, Kaizu achieved the rank of Jounin. This was not too long after the loss of his comrades. The promotion was prompted due to his plethora of missions that had been successful along with his ingenious use of Fuuinjutus in combat. After Ria's and Muu's death, Kaizu finally revealed to his family what had been going on and his feelings. It was relieving to him that their were people to support him. Even in his grief, he still had people to count on when it mattered most. His father, Yubon was proud of his accomplishments but he couldn't help feel concerned about Kaizu's mental health. Sensei Toren talked with Kaizu off and on for several months. Always checking on him and making sure he was okay. Kaizu's facade convinced his superiors, but not those closest to him.

Kaizu eventually broke down. It was prompted when he visited his comrade's funerals. All of the pain came flooding out. No one was around at the time, but his confession was all that mattered. After the episode, a great weight was lifted from his shoulders. He was happier and had more energy. His family and Toren even noticed a change. Kaizu would soon get his own group. He would have had one sooner, but his superiors wanted to be sure his mental state could handle it first. After all, Kaizu had always been more of a solo person in public.

Kaizu is now awaiting his group assignments. He is hopeful for them and is eager to train them. He knows they won't replace his comrades, but he hopes they might replace his pain with hope. Kaizu is now busy dealing with the war and leading several assaults.

SHINOBI FILE

Affiliation: Senju Banner
Rank: Jounin
Combat Style:
Kaizu's combat style is a bit different that normal shinobi. He is more of a controller. He herds teams and hampers them with his Fuuinjutsu skills, while eliminating them through either taijutsu or ninjutsu. His main focus thought his his Fuuinjutsu skills. He can seal people away, suppress their chakra, or many other various things to hamper the opposition.

Specialization:

    Primary: Fuuinjutsu
    Secondary: Ninjutsu
    Tetriary Taijutsu

Special Abilities:
Chakra Based

    -Extra Chakra Capacity

Physical Based

    -Advanced Endurance
    -Advanced Evasion



Chakra Nature:

    -Raiton
    -Fuuton


Chakra Reserve:
Jounin + Extra Chakra Reserves: A


Last edited by Kaizu on Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:14 pm; edited 5 times in total
Kaizu
Kaizu

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Post by Kaizu Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:11 am

ARSENAL

INVENTORY

Lightning Blade Creation Tattoo (Left wrist)

  • (50) Kuni with exploding tags attached
  • (5) Smoke Bombs
  • (5) Flash bombs
  • (20) Shuriken
  • (10) Fuma Shuriken with rigged wiring
  • (10) Katana


Lightning Blade Creation Tattoo (Right wrist)

  • (50) Kuni with exploding tags attached
  • (5) Smoke Bombs
  • (5) Flash bombs
  • (20) Shuriken
  • (10) Fuma Shuriken with rigged wiring
  • (10) Katana


Waist

  • (5) Scrolls
  • (5) Military ration pills
  • (1) Medical Pouch


Right and Left leg

  • (10) Kuni

JUTSU

S rank
Spoiler:

A rank
Spoiler:

B rank
Spoiler:

C rank
Spoiler:

D rank
Spoiler:

E rank
Spoiler:
SUMMONS

Ape Contract

Spoiler:


Kaizu
Kaizu

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Post by Methedor Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:33 pm

An enjoyable read as you clearly put thought into the character and there's clearly development. Though there are a few things that  don't work due to the current time period. Teams of Genin like in the show (that is being lead by a Jounin due to banner mandate) are not practice at this point. However you could have it be a group of friends that team up regularly, assignments from the compound or clan that team you up or some other method. (I slipped up on the team part as well, so its not just you. If you want you can look at the spoiler tag below for the method from Izumo's bio.) Your ages for Genin and Chuunin are a little young for me, but I won't put up too much of a fuss as your Jounin age is on target and it adds flavor to your character.

Aside from that I see you have an ape contract, but the acquisition isn't mentioned in your history. The last thing is this:
Secondary:
Taijutsu, Ninjutsu”

Are these two specialties under one? Or are you trying for some kind of combination or custom like 'nintaijutsu'?

Once these are corrected I'll take another gander, but I don't foresee any more issues. Again, good overall.

Spoiler:

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Post by AaronW Wed Aug 28, 2013 4:46 pm

I believe his/her doubling up in the specialty was based on the Uzumaki Clan members gaining the Fuuinjutsu specialty for free (which means they start with three specialities). So it's like they already have Added Speciality for their character.
@Kaizu: simply label the third speciality (whether it be ninjutsu or taijutsu) like so:

Secondary: Ninjutsu
Tertiary: Taijutsu

Or vice versa.

I'll take a deeper look into your history for grammar issues and what not later on this evening. Sorry for not being able to get to it right away. I just wanted to clear up the above issue.
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Post by AaronW Wed Aug 28, 2013 7:53 pm

History:
Genin Years
From the time Kaizu could walk, Yubon had been in stealing ideas of honor and what it meant to be a shinobi of the Uzumaki clan.
I think you mean instilling.

Last part of the first paragraph: The academy is not an organization that exists during this time period. "Students" would have been taught by their parents the entire time or by other prominent shinobi in the clan of the banner forces and there would be no 'graduating', but more that they became skilled enough to be conscripted into the war effort.

As Methedor pointed out, Genin teams aren't common place. His ideas for fixing that are sound, so just come up with something there.
Third paragraph:
He had also developed feelings for Ria, but his fear of loosing her as a friend overwhelmed him.
I think you mean losing.

Chuunin Years

Again, whatever change you come up with for the Genin team bit just make sure it is corrected throughout.

Second paragraph:

Kaizu didn't say much to his family when the questioned him about his behavior.
'they'

Third Paragraph:
As the fight raged; Kaizu, Muu, and Ria tried to head back to the village for reinforcements of their own, but the enemy kept on getting in their way.
Now, while technically the Hidden Villages don't exist in this time period and the term village still applies, it might be better that you change this to avoid confusion. We have been using the term Clan Compound for most of everything. It isn't a huge deal, but just keep it in mind. I merely wanted to bring it to your attention.

Jounin Years:

Again, no team assignments. If you want to write up a bit about him mentoring for younger shinobi that would be good, as I think the Genin and Chuunin sections are full of content but this section is a but lacking overall and will be even more so when the bit about receiving a team is removed. Maybe talk about some missions that he went on or try to delve deeper into the ways in which he dealt with the girl he loved taking her own life as he grew older? Just some small things like that.

Overall, this was an excellent read and you've not got much to change before you are on your way. Nothing big really. So nice job Let us know when you make those changes and we can pass you on through!
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Post by Kaizu Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:15 pm

Done... i think lol
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Post by gundamoutlaw Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:18 pm

Edits seem to cover most of the bases

Uzumaki, Kaizu (DONE) Hollow12

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Post by Methedor Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:00 am

Admin Aproval 2\2

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